“Organize yourself & bring rhythm to your life: Because you have things to do, habits to break, dreams to achieve, peace to discover and one life to live”
My family is faced with the grief of losing another family member this week. It was sudden. It is unbelievable. Between the moments of daily normality, the feeling of deep loss is very present.
Unfortunately, in the last three years my family has faced many losses. This began with the death of my precious Grandfather. His passing cut me down to the core and soul. It immobilized me with a grief that I had never felt nor thought I would ever get over. Eventually, after some time passed, things began to get easier. I was able to find my rhythm again.
Last summer when I was facing the death of my dear Grandmother, I felt that darkness creeping in yet again. Luckily I received a life line — sage advice from my mothers dear friend. She reminded me that things did not have to be the same as they were….I did not have to shut down this time to cope. This simple reminder really kept me going. During times when the loss just seemed so heavy that I was not able to function, I would remind myself things did not have to be this way. I needed to push through and keep going.
“Life has its rhythm and we have ours. They’re designed to coexist in harmony, so that when we do what is ours to do and otherwise let life be, we garner acceptance and serenity. (285)”
―Victoria Moran from Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize Your Spirit
Yesterday, when I received the call that my Aunt had passed suddenly I felt myself begin to shut down. Knowing this was not the way I continued to trudge on throughout my day while I processed the emotions. It just all seemed like too much.
This morning, when I awoke, I was overwhelmed by such a horrible anxiety. The effect that the loss of my sweet darling Aunt would have on my whole family would be great. Where we strong enough to do this again? Particularly, was I?
This flood of emotions had me pulling the covers over my head. Then I remembered our sweet Millie, who was waiting for her morning hay and feed. There was also, our fancy Polish chicks that needed their shavings changed and a fresh ration of feed and water. Surely I could ask my helpful husband to do these things for me so that I could go back to sleep and shut out the thoughts. But no, I needed this…the normality of a simple task to bring me into the present and calm my spirit and mind. So I pulled on my boots and headed out to the barn. Einstein and Earnie decided to join me.
As the morning light streamed in through the hay loft I felt myself finding balance. This was precious to me.
I hope to be able to cling to this rhythm to bring me through those times where things become too overwhelming. I don’t expect it to take away the feeling of loss. I just hope it will help fill the void, and keep me going. I want to be present in this life and that of my family.
I would suggest friends, those of you who are struggling with the painful loss of a love one, that you seek out your own unique rhythm. This act could help guide your way back to moments of peace during time of sorrow. Many blessings to you.
“Jumping from boulder to boulder and never falling, with a heavy pack, is easier than it sounds; you just can’t fall when you get into the rhythm of the dance.”
-Jack Kerouac from The Dharma Burns